Credit Card and Snack Bucket

I'm stressed. That's the first word I got for today. I know, I've been really stressed up lately, to the point that I can't think straight, and go back to my original character: an introverted bookworm, cyberspace explorer, malls and cafes sweeper, and a living mannequin. I've been so depressed this past few weeks. How to deal with it? For me, a credit card and snack buckets are the solution.

Shopping is one of the most common activities for urban dwellers. But shopping addicts are something else. Many people I heard have this 'shopping addict syndrome', or so I observed. Well, to be honest, it's a infectious disease, and I already got infected. It's like my brain has a motto "shopping is stress relieving" kind of thing. But it's truly true. I'm a type of person who get stressed and worried easily, but then I bottled up those feelings on myself, never ever pulled it out on someone because I barely can trust anyone. It's hard, but that's my character (which I found very troublesome). But then, I saw a worldly heaven, called "shop". It's a place where I can seemingly forget my problems, and have fun on my own. But still, it's unhealthy. Excessive shopping can cause trouble to your own, of course everybody knows that. So, how can I handle this problem? I have a stressful life, yet I have to control my budget, which mean I can't spend all my credit for this expensive stress-relieving program. I got really stressed this week, and when on the way home, I stopped at the nearby mall, buy a trouser. And when I got home, I accessed the internet, ordered Russian and Japanese novels on eBay, just with a click. I can't stop, it's really troublesome. How to heal this disease? I can't blame it all on my stressful life, can I?

But it's not only shopping that concerned me. It's also eating. I have an eating disorder, I think. I rarely eat on everyday life. I eat twice or maybe even once a day, below the average of human diet. But when stress attacked, I can eat the whole snacks on the pantry by myself. It's not decent meals, but still, it's eating. I don't like snacks, or anything that related to eating. It's just calming if I eat while stress strike. So I eat excessively, not even care about anything else (aside from the shopping thing above).

Those explained things above are the unhealthy habits of mine. I can't stop them, because there are no solution for my get-stressed-easily habit. Or maybe I can, with a therapy or something. I don't know. I wrote this post just because I want to, but in the other hand I want this to become the solution for my problems. One thing for sure, credit card and snack bucket can be jewels, but they can turned into lava balls too. So beware!